Clinical psychologist Miranda Mullins from Psychology Consultants says although it may be scary for children to be separated from their parents, it is an important skill for them to learn, particularly in preparation for school or day care.

"This fear of separation is normal in young children, and there is no evidence that competent care other than parents has any negative effects," she says.

"All parents need some time away from their children, and children benefit from time spent with other people," she says.

"Problems with separation can become worse if parents feel worried or guilty about leaving them. The way parents respond to their child's fear will make all the difference in how well they adjust."

She says a common mistake some parents make is that they give in to their children and never leave them.

"Most children find it difficult to be separated at first, but they do learn that you will come back. Clingy behaviour will continue, and probably get worse, if children have few opportunities to learn how to separate."

Problems can also be made worse by the way that the separation is handled. It is never a good idea to rush off, or sneak away while the child is not looking. This can increase a child's anxiety and make them worry that their parents may disappear at any time.

Equally, giving children lots of attention and reassurance when they protest can accidentally reward them for their clingy behaviour, and teach them that complaining is a good way to get your attention.

With a new school year beginning, and many parents gearing up to leave their child in care for the first time, here are some tips to handle the separation.

1. Prepare your child for the separation. Before you leave your child, talk to them about it. Tell them where they are going, where you will be, what they will be doing there, who will be looking after them, how long they will be there and so on. It is good idea to visit the centre or school first and spend some with your child helping them get to know the place and the people caring for them. Introduce them gradually to their new surroundings. If your child has a comforter (like a blanket or special toy) they might like to take this with them when they go.
   
2. Explain to your child what will happen. Young children respond well to having a routine, so it is very important to let them know exactly what will happen. Have a routine for when they arrive, such as saying hello to people, finding a toy to play with and kissing you goodbye. Explain that you will leave after you say goodbye no matter what they do and make sure you carry this out.
   
3. Set up some rewards. It can also be helpful to establish a reward system with your child. Explain that if they stay calm and saying goodbye when you leave they can get a reward, like an extra story read to them at bedtime. Always praise your child enthusiastically for doing the right thing. Children love to get attention from you so make sure you give it to them for doing the right thing, rather than for being clingy when you try to leave.
   
4. Say goodbye and leave. Once you have said goodbye it is important to leave straight away. Ignore all protests and do not go back to check on them.
   
5. When you return. It is important to also follow a routine when you collect your child. Always greet and spend some time with them, asking them about what they did and praising their efforts. Remember that they might be clingy when you return, and it is OK to give them lots of attention provided they are behaving in an appropriate way. Review with them how the separation went by praising them for the things they did well and rewarding them as promised.

All children eventually learn to separate from their parents with a minimum of fuss. Some just find it more difficult than others. If you follow these steps consistently you will find that you can help your child learn to separate from you and the process will be much less stressful on all involved.